Things Friends Said to Me After I Told Them I'm HSV Positive

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Inspired by: A Chronological List of Things Men Said to Me After I Told Them I Had Herpes

Please check out The Hairpin. It's a fucking awesome site filled with articles by good writers

In no particular order - chronological, alphabetical, or other - because I quite like the organic process of remembering in bits and pieces what people said to me when I first told them.

So far, everyone has been encouraging and super positive about being...positive (har har). If I could give one advice about telling friends, family and especially people that you're dating, it's to NOT make it into a sob fest. NEVER APOLOGISE FOR BEING POZZO*. I'll write a more in-depth post about it another day. Spoiler alert: it's kind of like coming out.

Personally, I never liked people looking at me with sad, pitiful eyes. You either help me right away or you fuck off. What am I supposed to do with your sympathy? I'm sure you mean well, but unless you have a cure for HSV, don't give me your patronising "Aww, babe, it's going to be okay." I KNOW it's going to be okay, tell me something I don't know. </rant>

Anyway, here are quotes from the gems of friends I've been utterly blessed with.



"Nothing changes. I'll still love you."
- I, we were pretty baked and this was days before I got my blood test results

"Wait, what? You didn't call me? I'M the friend you call when you have an STD! Or are pregnant!"
- N, who is almost always completely facetious

"I'm glad you're being so positive about it. It's great." 
- Z, over Skype after a 3-hour long conversation

"You're what??!?!!! Are you okay??? Why didn't A (another friend) tell me this????!!"
- IV, over a WhatsApp call and I was having my favourite otah toast from Toast Box.

"Omg I know right? I had chlamydia!" 
- F, over a pre-lunch smoke and we were both seated face-to-face on stubby stone stools

"Who's this guy?!?!! I want to kill him for you! I want to hurt him really bad."
- L, who drove over after a night out and we talked till 2 am. I convinced him I didn't need anyone murdered (but now I know who to call)

"If there's anyone I know that would be strong enough to handle something like an STD, it'd be you."
- B, dinner at Craft Bakery and we're polishing off their amazing mentaiko mashed potato

"You are beautiful. Have always been. Will always be."
- SW, over WhatsApp when I couldn't sleep one night

"You know I got rashes around my mouth. I got paranoid and thought I got it lol. I'm like Virgin Mary but with an STD instead of Jesus. You can call me Virgin Herpy."
- IS, when I asked him if he remembers what he said to me the first I told him about being positive. He deviated and I love him for it.

*Still trying to make it happen. Yes? No? Try again later?