I am so sorry, J

Of Course Some Days Are Better

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Just this past weekend, I had a lapse. I'm generally a drama queen - my friends can vouch for that - but the pulsating heart ache that day was something I wouldn't hyperbolise, no matter how facetious I'm being. It struck suddenly and was so paralysing that my hand jerked to my chest and I held it there while I cried in a way that would have gotten a nod from Meryl Streep. I felt myself curl at the trunk but I couldn't lay or sit, so I just stood there, feet solidly on the floor as I made sad sounds and my face got wetter and wetter.

#3 HUR HUR HURPES

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There's a thin line distinguishing "Heroes" from "Herpes". 

Or, y'know, they could be the same thing. ;)

Because You Told Me To Write

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Dear H,

I wished I never told you over the phone. I wished I had sat down across from you instead. I could have watched your face crumple a little bit and your brows furrow as you try to understand whatever I'm saying. I would have brought a finger to your forehead to iron the creases out, the way a wonderful friend used to do to me whenever I thought too hard. He'd say to me, "Don't think too much." I would have said to you, "Don't think too much." 

#2 HUR HUR HURPES

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So pun, much herpes.

How I Got HSV and the Boy That Gave it To Me

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I met him off Tinder.

We took a while to agree on a date to meet because we were both really busy at that point of time. It got exasperating, and I have a personal rule for online dating: If in 3 message exchanges/days you don't get a date, BAIL.

It had been over a week of texting and I just wanted to move on. I told him to "Take care x". I got a text back, "Wah take care all, don't want to talk anymore ah?" IS THAT A CHALLENGE, LITTLE SHIT??? LET ME TAKE YOU UP ON IT.

We miraculously settled for a date later. Drinks at Cuscaden and the Kingsman movie because neither of us had watched it and we both had friends giving us flak because of it. We had nice conversation over drinks. He asked me if I smoked and we had a cigarette before going for the movie. In the theatre, we made out like 15-year-olds.

We saw each other a few more times after that. Then he gave me an STD.

"It's Your Anniversary!"

AM, B and I had pancakes and watched Melissa McCarthy kick serious butt last night. We got on separate cabs home (B in one, AM and I in another). As our cab worked its way up a slight hill, AM looked up from her phone and told me it was my anniversary.

"Of what?"
"It's been a month since 11th May."
"Oh shit dude."